A Look Back

Our youngest son graduated high school in June 2010. I spent the summer traveling, helping my mother move, and contemplating the past several decades of homeschooling.

Do I believe homeschooling was a positive experience for my children, our family? Would I have changed anything? Are the kids successful? Well-educated? Happy? Yes, Yes, and Yes!

A positive experience? To me homeschooling is a lifestyle. Sure the academics are important, but it is so much more than that! It's about living your life, learning, and growing in character and personal responsibility. At times we failed miserably with the discipline of getting up early every day - we are all such night owls! Over the years, though, I witnessed important milestones of growth in each of my children, such as learning to study on ones' own, relying on oneself instead of a peer group, and self-determined career choices. None of our children "followed the crowd." We have raised a group of independent, self-thinking individuals. With a family of eight, it is sometimes hard to get a consensus!

Would I have changed anything? Oh, sure! Thrown out curriculum that didn't work sooner. Worried less about what other people thought. I always felt so pressured to measure up to a higher standard because our children's performances were constantly critiqued by family, neighbors, and church community. I wish we moms could relax and enjoy more of these growing years with our children. Of course, I'm the first to agree that's tough when you want to make sure your kids succeed.

And, THAT can be a trap. Is success limited to getting into an Ivy League college? Having a prestigious, high-paying job?

I have come to believe success is learning to be happy developing your personal talents and living with a passion for what you do, whether you make lots of money or not. In a world focused on material possessions, this is a tough undertaking. I think of Dr. Paul Farmer. He has saved thousands from TB and AIDS in Haiti and all over the world. This would not have been possible without his years of education, passion for his work, millions of dollars contributed by charitable donors and the team of people he inspires. His is a life lived with purpose and passion.

I also think of our son, a ballet dancer, a self-educated young man with no college degree living a dancer's hand-to-mouth existence, and yet, living his life with passion and energy, bringing joy to the lives of hundreds of people in every performance. That is also success.

So, would I do it again? Absolutely! For all the worries, I loved being with my children. I loved teaching them, loved watching them learn. I loved the field trips, and park days, and Friday Beach days. I loved how they relished the crazy science classes, learning about all the countries of the world, building Roman arches, making volcanoes, planting fairy gardens, and working hours and hours to perfect the Bach doubles for violin.

Even as I move into this next season of my life with my children now young adults, I am grateful for the opportunity and the choice to have spent my life living and learning at home with my children.