Surviving Cancer and Homeschooling

First, I should clarify... my husband is the one who survived the chemo treatments. I'm the one who survived as wife and caretaker of a cancer patient and the home school mom of a seventeen year old! (Maybe I should wait until June when said son graduates to say we all survived!?)

How do you home school when your husband has cancer? Or whenever you experience an extremely difficult situation ... a job loss, an aging parent, a severe injury.

For me, getting on my knees first thing every morning gives me strength to face the challenges of the day. Whatever they are. Life is filled with experiences that are sometimes fun, sometimes challenging, and sometimes just plain hard. So, for me the first line of defense is my faith in God.

Second, is having super supportive friends and family. In dealing with my husband's cancer and subsequent unemployment for a year, I had to focus on the day-to-day, here-and-now. Our friends and family became my reality check and kept me sane. I had no emotional room for negativity. Having made plans for a worst-case scenario, I then let family and friends know that we were just going to stay positive and focus on getting through each day.

Third, as a homeschooling family we found resources that worked for our situation. We have a neighbor who was willing to tutor our son in German twice a week. (I had previously taught her sons Latin and Science, so it was a nice trade.) Our son is enrolled in one academic and one elective class through a homeschool partnership program with a local private Christian school; and we continued his martial arts instruction to give him a sense of continuity and the support of the master and other instructors. This meant we only had one "at home" course to teach. This gave me time to concentrate on helping my husband get through chemo. It also gave our son several other adults to whom he was accountable and to whom he could look for outside support and encouragement.

Yes, there were sacrifices. Scheduling was a challenge! Life is full of choices. We looked at our priorities - getting our son through his last year of high school and getting my husband through chemo - and found resources that would help us reach those goals. I love the scuba diver's motto: Plan the Dive and Dive the Plan! Our family motto has always been: "Just do it! Make it happen!"

Fourth, keeping things in perspective. On chemo days when I had to explain to my seventeen year old that NOW is NOT the time to be ripping on his electric guitar, I tried to remember he was worried about his Dad, too - and we found other times and ways for him to practice.

For a month we had only one working car which meant juggling classes, clinic appointments, jobs, and activities among five people. (Now there's a lesson in organization.) We kept a pretty strict schedule and I was thankful that somehow it always worked out!

Fifth, and Sixth - a sense of humor, and gratitude. When the septic system backed up, the first time was yucky. The second was unbelievable. And the third time, honestly... I just rolled with laughter. Are you serious?? We finally had to replace the entire leach field which turned into a great lesson on how a septic system works and what it would be like to work as a ditch-digger. It was also a lesson in appreciation for the good friends who helped us. Splashing around in mud and gunk is above and beyond true friendship!

Then the tool sheds fell over in the biggest storm of the year, our twenty-two year old daughter moved back home after an ugly break-up, the second car broke down again, and I got bit by a neighbor's dog.

Oh, and along the way.... every week there were blessings. Family and friends helping out - with meals, with repairs, with finances, and with laughter - because who could believe all this!

Really, it's just been a year filled with lots of love... and along the way my husband had cancer, and we homeschooled, too!

I think this summer we'll have a big party. Celebrate Life!